How to Have Fun When You Can't Leave The House
Alone on your couch? Read this.
Well, it’s been quite the week. Shortly after I hit send on my post about life feeling messy, my child tipped a heavy chair over onto her foot and broke a bone. Shortly after that, she and my husband both tested positive for Covid. Thankfully, they’re doing okay, but given that I have a pre-existing condition (Type 1 diabetes) that puts me at greater risk of, well, everything, I’m hiding from them in hopes that I stay healthy.
This has resulted in me not going outside much and spending a lot of time in my own head, which is a great recipe for mental health. It’s also given me lots of time to sit on the couch and ponder a question that might be of interest to you as well:
How can you avoid feeling like you’re wasting your life when you’re alone on a couch?
Because you know that this is quite possible. Couches are basically inviting us to do things that will make us feel like we’re wasting our lives. For example, consider this recent scene from my own life:
INT. LIVING ROOM - EARLY EVENING
A woman (ME) enters the room after a long day. She has plans to hang out with a friend, but she’s tired, and this would require putting on shoes, perhaps a jacket, definitely different pants. She catches sight of her COUCH staring at her, its pillows invitingly fluffed.
ME: (Speaking to couch) Don't give me that look. COUCH: (Gazing back coyly, channeling its inner Tom Cruise from Top Gun Maverick) It's the only one I got. ME: (Shakes head) COUCH: No, but seriously. Just sit down a minute. Relax. Maybe pick up your phone. ME: (Hesitantly) Okay . . . I guess I could just sit down for a minute. . . . [127 MINUTES LATER] COUCH: See, don't you feel better now? ME: No. COUCH: Oh well. Time for bed. FIN.
Less couch. More fun.
Fake Fun
The problem, you see, is that couches are designed to encourage us to indulge in what I call Fake Fun.
Fake Fun is a term I came up with to describe activities, products or services that are marketed to us as fun, but that don’t actually result in true fun, which, as you may recall from my book and previous Substack writing, I define as the extremely active and energizing state of being in playful connected flow.
Fake Fun (n.)
Activities, products or services that are marketed to us as fun, but that don’t actually result in playful connected flow
Fake Fun is like the junk food of leisure: it’s engineered to be tempting and easy to binge on, but it makes you feel gross after you’ve consumed it. The top offenders in this category are by far social media, mindlessly scrolling through your phone, and binge-watching television or movies past the point of enjoyment. In other words, things that are highly likely to happen on your couch.
But wait, aren’t couches also for reading?
Yes, couches are also for reading. And napping, and lounging and doing puzzles, and all sorts of other quiet, potentially solitary activities that may well be nourishing and relaxing—and yes, this can even include watching a movie or a couple episodes of your favorite television show (as long as you don’t let autoplay take over, in which case you’re likely to cross the line from feeling relaxed to feeling gross, which is a telltale sign of Fake Fun).
Why is this important?
Because our leisure time is precious and limited, and yet many of us don’t put too much thought into how we spend it. Instead, we often to default to whatever is easiest — which is usually fake fun, often consumed while sitting on the couch — and end up feeling unsatisfied.
But if you instead think of your leisure activities as falling into three categories, you’ll have a framework that you can use to make your leisure time feel rejuvenating and rewarding. Which leads me to . . .
The Three Buckets of Your Leisure Time
As I see it, there are three possible types of leisure time—three “buckets,” if you will:
Things that are likely to make you feel joyfully alive (True Fun) ← these are your Fun Magnets—prioritize them!
Things that are likely to make you feel gross and like you’re wasting your life (Fake Fun) ← reduce or eliminate!
Quieter, often solitary things that you enjoy, but that don’t lead to full on True Fun (e.g. reading, going for a walk, practicing an instrument, taking a bath) ← keep!
It’s worth taking the time to identify and sort your own leisure activities into these categories, so that you can get into the habit of asking yourself, whenever you encounter a pocket of free time, “What do I want (or what is possible) in this moment?” With a little forethought and planning, you’ll be much less likely to succumb to the (fake fun) siren song of your couch.
A Daily Delight: A friend sent me this, and it made me laugh. (Note: promise me right now that you will not start scrolling through YouTube after watching this video.)