Finding Your Fun Magnets and Fun Factors

Let's get nerdy about fun.

Jan 10, 2024

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Happy Wednesday, everyone!

So, in the last installment of our funtervention, I proposed that we adopt a new definition of fun—namely, that it’s the combination of playfulness, connection and flow.

Not only do I think that this definition more accurately captures the feeling of fun than the traditional definition (i.e. that fun is simply “lighthearted pleasure or enjoyment”), but I believe that it corrects some of the misperceptions we have about fun.

For example, we often think that fun only happens when we’re on vacation, or somehow “outside” of our normal lives. We also often think that it requires us to spend lots of money. But that’s not necessarily true. As you can see from the stories people have shared in this discussion thread, you can have fun nearly anywhere, in nearly any context, and fun doesn’t necessarily require any money at all.

Which brings me to the million-dollar question: how can we have more of it?

Introducing Fun Magnets and Fun Factors

Fun often feels like it happens spontaneously. That’s true—and later this month, we’re going to talk about how to make it more likely for spontaneous fun to occur. (Yes, I’m aware that that sounds oxymoronic.) But for today, we’re going to take a nerdier approach, and try to figure out ways to engineer more fun into our lives, by figuring out what I refer to as “fun magnets” and “fun factors.”

Fun Magnets

As I’ve mentioned before, fun is a feeling, not an activity. But with that said, we each have a personal collection of activities, people, and settings that are more likely than others to generate the feeling of fun. I refer to these as our personal fun magnets. The better you know your own fun magnets, the easier it’ll be to put yourself in situations that are likely to feel fun—and the better equipped you’ll be to decide how to spend (or not spend) your limited leisure time. In other words, we can’t force fun to occur (I’m sure we all have stories about failed attempts!). But we can make fun more likely to happen by carving out time for our fun magnets.

Pro tip: Everyone’s fun magnets are different. That means that if you’re in a relationship, you’re going to have some fun magnets that overlap, and some that don’t. If you want to reduce resentment and feel closer to your partner, it’s important to support your partner’s independent fun magnets—as in, encourage them to spend time on them—without making them feel guilty about it, and ask them to do the same for you.

Now, all this talk about “fun magnets” might sound like an overly complicated way for me to suggest that you “do more stuff you like.” In a way, that’s true: I do want you to do more stuff you like. But it’s more nuanced than that. For example, if you were to write down a list of activities that you enjoy, chances are that some would be bona fide fun magnets—i.e. activities that are highly likely to put you into a state of playful, connected flow. But there will also be activities on there that you genuinely enjoy, but that do not generate the energized feeling of true fun. Reading often falls into this category, as do a lot of nourishing and relaxing solitary activities, such as taking a bath or going for a walk alone. Those activities are enjoyable and worth your time, but they produce a different feeling from true fun.

And the same goes for people: you probably have some friends with whom you consistently have fun, and others who are more of the let’s-curl-up-with-a-cup-of-tea-and-have-a-meaningful-conversation type. Both are important . . . but different. The better you understand those differences (and the better you get at identifying what you need in any particular moment), the better equipped you’ll be to spend your leisure time in ways (and with people) that feel nourishing.

Fun Factors

Whereas fun magnets are the specific activities, people, and settings that are the most likely to generate fun for you personally, fun factors are the characteristics of those activities, people, or experiences that make them feel fun.

In my book, The Power of Fun, I have a whole list of possible fun factors, which include things like:

being in nature
music
physicality
creativity
performance
anonymity
intimacy
challenges
intellectual stimulation
demonstrating mastery
collaboration
games
spontaneity
et cetera (there’s a list of 30-something of them in the book; I’m not including them all here lest Substack describe this post as a 27-minute read—but you can use this as a jumping off point for your own brainstorming!)

Here’s an example how of to figure out and use your fun factors. Let’s say that one of your personal fun magnets is hiking. Great. Make more time for hiking! But if you want to take it a step further, ask yourself: what is it about hiking that makes it feel fun? Is it being in nature? Is it the physical exertion? Is it the fact that you’re with other people (or that you’re alone)? Is it all of the above?

These characteristics are examples of your personal fun factors—and the better you understand your fun factors, the easier it will be to identify new things to do or try. (It can also inspire you to say yes to activities that don’t necessarily seem like they’d be fun to you—more on that in a future newsletter.)

What to Do Today

Congratulations—you made it through the nerdy part. Today, your goal is to figure out some of your personal fun magnets and fun factors, and to make a plan to experiment with one or more of them this coming weekend. Here’s how to do so.

Call to mind several memories from your own life that stand out to you as having felt really fun (let’s aim for three to five, though if you get on a roll, keep going). I recommend actually writing them down.
Once you’ve done so, read through what you’ve written and look for themes. Do any activities, people, or settings pop up repeatedly? If so, those are examples of your fun magnets. (You may want to enlist a friend or loved one to do this with you—talking about fun can itself be fun.)
Next, ask yourself if these stories share any characteristics. Did a lot of them happen outside, for example? Did they involve competition? Collaboration? How much planning (if any) was involved? These are examples of your fun factors.
Optional: If you’d like, spend another few minutes coming up with a list of activities that you find relaxing or rejuvenating, but that do not usually lead to the full-on energized state of true fun. These are things you can turn to when you need quiet nourishment.
Look ahead to the coming weekend (which is a long weekend if you’re in the US) and ask yourself:

What’s one fun magnet that you could carve out time for?
What’s one new thing you could try, do, or say yes to, that involves one or more of your fun factors? (Bonus points if this is not something that immediately jumps out to you as “fun.”)
Bonus bonus points: What’s something you will not do this weekend that often gets in the way of your ability to have fun?

If you’re up for it and/or want some accountability, share your answers in this thread:

Fun Squad/Paid Subscriber Bonus: The (Printable) Fun Compatibility Quiz

Note: I hate putting things behind paywalls, but these posts take a huge amount of time (one might say too much time) and I need the newsletter to become a genuine source of income in order to justify the amount of time/thought/effort that its creation entails. I hope you’ll understand (and many thanks to those of you who have signed up to be paid Fun Squad members—I truly appreciate your support!).

How to Feel Alive with Catherine Price