Thank you for doing that -- I think that "depleted moms" may be the category of people that MOST needs encouragement to prioritize their fun magnets! (I say that because that was -- and often still is -- me, too)
I've been reading your newsletters faithfully but never seem to find a way to make time and space and energy for 1 single fun magnet for me apart from Wordle daily. I work 50hr/week.. and am primary bread winner, just turned 55yo.. Any specific steps you recommend? Thank you. Lindy hopping sounds like super fun!
Thank you for this comment, Sarita! I'd suggest starting small. Maybe ask yourself, what's one small thing you could do for yourself, just for fun, this weekend. It might not even require leaving your house. Treat it as a small experiment -- and then notice how it feels to even THINK about ways to prioritize your own fun. I'd love to hear how it goes :)
I have never even considered the Lindy Hop, and yet your adventure made me want to add this to my life as well. I have no idea where to find a club like the one you described, but can I kick, twirl, and jump around my living room? I think it might be fun to try.
I love this! You capture the absolute life affirming joy of live music and dancing so perfectly, it really made me remember why I loved dancing too- and that it's been a while (years now) since I did any.
I really want to go to a roller disco! I've never been to one before. I'm 35. That somehow feels simultaneously too old and too young to be at one...! Not sure why. It would also be a faff to organise. But this substack has really made me think about actually making it happen!
That hemming and hawing about going even though everything is fully organised? I totally felt that... That was me a few months ago considering whether or not I should postpone my hike (again) because I had a sick kid at home and the weather wasn't favourable, even though I was getting more pregnant by the day and it wouldn't be feasible to postpone. So glad I went!
This mother's day I'm feeling a bit lost about what my fun magnets are. Having just (not even 48 hours old!) had a baby, all the things that normally fill me with joy (like hiking and massages) currently fill me with ouch. I might have to settle for a tub of ice cream and guilt free time reading my book
Congratulations! And also, yes: it makes sense to feel a bit out-of-touch with your personal fun magnets when you just spent the past months, you know, *growing a human.* I do encourage you to keep gently asking yourself that question, though, and getting/asking for whatever support you need to make it possible for you to do some of those things (including ice-cream and book time!).
Congratulations on your new baby! I'm so glad you got out for that hike. Early postpartum is such a strange time for feeling anywhere near your normal self, both mentally and physically. Hope you find something that brings you joy and restorative fun, even if it's not your usual thing!
I’ve started playing piano in the worship band at church. A lot of weeks I feel guilty because it’s a whole evening for practice during the week and I also have to get to church super early on Sunday morning. Sometimes I have questioned if I’m being selfish. But I love it so much and the weeks when I’m playing are so much better than the weeks when I’m not.
Isn't it interesting how quickly we feel guilty when we prioritize our own fun and joy? I love that you're playing in the band! And I love your observation about the difference it makes in your mood and energy levels -- I hope you'll keep that in mind whenever you have doubts about whether you "should" be carving out time for it.
Yes, I think it’s years of having to set aside these kinds of things when my kids were young. I had about 13 straight years of little kids! Now my youngest is 6, and I’m having to convince myself I really do have time to do these things!
First, I just love this post. I used to swing dance with my best friend from college, so as I was reading I was remembering all of the fun times we had in our early 20s. Second, Gordon Webster is a friend of mine - our kids are close buds. Such a small world! I'll be sure to share this post with him. ☺️
Thanks for this encouragement! I went to the HopeWords conference on my own a few weeks ago after my teen daughter backed out. Even though I felt a little nervous going alone, it was incredibly uplifting to be there in person among kindred spirits. I know what you mean about that feeling of just being and in the moment. Buoyed by my recent independent experience, this week I booked myself on a pilgrimage tour (with a favorite Substack author) in July! Happy Mother's Day!
I love everything about this! I do open water swimming, both in the ocean and in a local dam (lake). Sometimes it involves getting up early to get to some swimming destinations. 4am on a Saturday anyone? But, it’s always worth it! Just keep dancing. And swimming 😊
I talk about your 3 elements for fun to my depleted moms frequently!
Thank you for doing that -- I think that "depleted moms" may be the category of people that MOST needs encouragement to prioritize their fun magnets! (I say that because that was -- and often still is -- me, too)
I've been reading your newsletters faithfully but never seem to find a way to make time and space and energy for 1 single fun magnet for me apart from Wordle daily. I work 50hr/week.. and am primary bread winner, just turned 55yo.. Any specific steps you recommend? Thank you. Lindy hopping sounds like super fun!
Thank you for this comment, Sarita! I'd suggest starting small. Maybe ask yourself, what's one small thing you could do for yourself, just for fun, this weekend. It might not even require leaving your house. Treat it as a small experiment -- and then notice how it feels to even THINK about ways to prioritize your own fun. I'd love to hear how it goes :)
I have never even considered the Lindy Hop, and yet your adventure made me want to add this to my life as well. I have no idea where to find a club like the one you described, but can I kick, twirl, and jump around my living room? I think it might be fun to try.
I support kicking, twirling and jumping in all contexts :)
I love this! You capture the absolute life affirming joy of live music and dancing so perfectly, it really made me remember why I loved dancing too- and that it's been a while (years now) since I did any.
I really want to go to a roller disco! I've never been to one before. I'm 35. That somehow feels simultaneously too old and too young to be at one...! Not sure why. It would also be a faff to organise. But this substack has really made me think about actually making it happen!
Do it!!! (I just went to an adult figure skating camp . . . possibly the fodder for a future post.) Just make sure you wear a helmet!
That hemming and hawing about going even though everything is fully organised? I totally felt that... That was me a few months ago considering whether or not I should postpone my hike (again) because I had a sick kid at home and the weather wasn't favourable, even though I was getting more pregnant by the day and it wouldn't be feasible to postpone. So glad I went!
This mother's day I'm feeling a bit lost about what my fun magnets are. Having just (not even 48 hours old!) had a baby, all the things that normally fill me with joy (like hiking and massages) currently fill me with ouch. I might have to settle for a tub of ice cream and guilt free time reading my book
Congratulations! And also, yes: it makes sense to feel a bit out-of-touch with your personal fun magnets when you just spent the past months, you know, *growing a human.* I do encourage you to keep gently asking yourself that question, though, and getting/asking for whatever support you need to make it possible for you to do some of those things (including ice-cream and book time!).
Congratulations on your new baby! I'm so glad you got out for that hike. Early postpartum is such a strange time for feeling anywhere near your normal self, both mentally and physically. Hope you find something that brings you joy and restorative fun, even if it's not your usual thing!
I’ve started playing piano in the worship band at church. A lot of weeks I feel guilty because it’s a whole evening for practice during the week and I also have to get to church super early on Sunday morning. Sometimes I have questioned if I’m being selfish. But I love it so much and the weeks when I’m playing are so much better than the weeks when I’m not.
Isn't it interesting how quickly we feel guilty when we prioritize our own fun and joy? I love that you're playing in the band! And I love your observation about the difference it makes in your mood and energy levels -- I hope you'll keep that in mind whenever you have doubts about whether you "should" be carving out time for it.
Yes, I think it’s years of having to set aside these kinds of things when my kids were young. I had about 13 straight years of little kids! Now my youngest is 6, and I’m having to convince myself I really do have time to do these things!
First, I just love this post. I used to swing dance with my best friend from college, so as I was reading I was remembering all of the fun times we had in our early 20s. Second, Gordon Webster is a friend of mine - our kids are close buds. Such a small world! I'll be sure to share this post with him. ☺️
Ha -- small world indeed! His music and style of playing are just so joyful!
Thanks for this encouragement! I went to the HopeWords conference on my own a few weeks ago after my teen daughter backed out. Even though I felt a little nervous going alone, it was incredibly uplifting to be there in person among kindred spirits. I know what you mean about that feeling of just being and in the moment. Buoyed by my recent independent experience, this week I booked myself on a pilgrimage tour (with a favorite Substack author) in July! Happy Mother's Day!
I love everything about this! I do open water swimming, both in the ocean and in a local dam (lake). Sometimes it involves getting up early to get to some swimming destinations. 4am on a Saturday anyone? But, it’s always worth it! Just keep dancing. And swimming 😊
This really resonated with me. I’ve wanted to bring more intentional and real fun, but sometimes have a hard time figuring out what I want to do