Thinking of Getting Your Kid a Phone This Fall?

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It’s back-to-school season here in the States, which means a whole new crop of kids are going to start walking to school and going to practices and rehearsals on their own. This also means that a whole new crop of parents—perhaps including you!— are thinking of getting their kids phones.

Many kids, understandably, are pushing for smartphones.

And many parents are considering saying yes, despite their concerns, in part because they don’t realize that there are other options available.

Before you do so, I encourage you to read this post and share it with friends. Because guess what? As I learned during my research for How to Break Up With Your Phone and The Amazing Generation, there are other options — options that can help you and your friends resist giving your kids smartphones before (at least) high school, or access to social media before they’re (at least) sixteen.

Photo by Gaelle Marcel on Unsplash

Consider a smartphone alternative

I’m talking about smartphone alternatives: devices that look like smartphones but that don’t provide access to the internet or social media. These devices are cheaper than iPhones and less addicting and less distracting and don’t give your child access to social media or pornography. Many also offer additional features, such as location tracking, or the ability to monitor your child’s contacts, text messages and phone calls.

In short, they can help you give your child more real-world independence (and help you keep track of and communicate with your kid) without giving your child access to the full internet or social media—and without giving the entire internet (and all its sexual predators and drug sellers) access to your child. Many of these phones also allow you to customize their features based on how old your child is and what you want them to be able to do, which is a great way to help your child learn and practice how to use a phone (and the internet) safely, instead of just throwing them into the deep end and hoping that they learn how to swim.

Did you know?

Thanks to the Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act, it’s illegal for social media companies to allow kids under 13 years old to open accounts.

How to Choose a Phone

I recommend that you start by asking yourself why you’re considering getting a phone for your child. More specifically:

• What do you want them to be able to do? (For example: call or text you or their friends, use Google Maps, take photos, use ride share apps, listen to music, etc.)

• What do you not want them to be able to do? (For example: access social media or pornography, contact—or be contacted by—strangers, predators, or drug dealers, participate in group chats, send photos, etc.)

• What do you want to be able to do? (For example: call and text them, track their location, etc.)

Once you’re clear on your goals, the next step is to . . .

Consider Your Options

If you’re looking for a “smartphone” with training wheels (and no social media and no/limited internet access):

Consider the Troomi, Pinwheel, Bark, or Gabb phones. They’re all actual smartphones (mostly Samsung models), but with their own operating systems. None of them allows access to social media apps; their level of possible internet access varies, as do their 3rd party app libraries and parental controls.

For example, this is what the Gabb phone looks like.

Pro tip: Instead of just telling your kid which smartphone alternative you’re going to get, choose two options that you would be comfortable with, and give them the opportunity to pick the one they like the best.

If you’re thinking of a smart watch:

The Gizmo (also available without a camera), the Garmin Bounce, the Troomi watch, and the Gabb Watch 3 are all great non-Apple watch options that do let you call/text/track your kid but that don’t offer internet access (unlike the Apple Watch). But a word of caution about smart watches: They can become incredibly distracting if your kid gets involved in a group chat, because every new message will vibrate directly on their wrist.

The Garmin Bounce

If Your Kid Only Occasionally Needs a Phone

If you’re just looking for a way to give your younger child(ren) a bit more independence out of the house, don’t buy them their own phone(s); buy a family “loaner” phone. Keep it in the house in a central location, and then just lend it out as needed. For example, if your kid is going to weekend sports practice, they take the phone with them, and then just return it when they’re done. Consider a flip phone (a lot of people like the CAT S22, though it does have an internet browser), an old smartphone that you’ve “Bricked” (see below), or the extremely minimal Light Phone.

The Light Phone

If your kid already has a smartphone and you want more parental controls (but can’t deal with the thought of taking the smartphone away)—or if they have their own iPad or tablet:

Sign up for a parental control add-on plan. They allow you to do things like limit access to certain apps and websites, set a schedule for when the phone can access the internet, turn off your entire home’s internet access at a certain time each night, track location, monitor calls and texts, monitor driving behavior and more.

You could subscribe to a third-party provider, such as Bark or Canopy.

Or you can also often get a parental control plan from your cell service provider—e.g. Verizon’s “Smart Family” add-on, AT&T’s “Secure Family” add-on, or T-Mobile’s “Mobile Family” add-on.

If you want to truly get creative, you could also buy a Brick (use SCREENLIFEBALANCE10 for 10% off), which is a device that allows you to choose which apps you want to allow on the smartphone and block everything else (there’s even a workaround that allows you to block Safari). Theoretically you could set up an old iPhone to only allow access to a handful of apps and block everything else, including social media and the app store.

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Want More Detailed Info?

Last winter, I spent an obscene amount of time putting together a detailed guide to these smartphone alternatives. I thought it would be useful to share it with you at the beginning of the school year.

You can read my free, condensed version of the report here.

For the full report, please become a paid subscriber and then visit that same link—Substack will “unlock” the content for you. (The round-up took a ton of work, which is why the full thing is behind a paywall.)

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Don’t Go It Alone

As you make your choice, be sure to talk to the parents of your friends’ kids and ask if they will commit to holding off on smartphones as well. Why is this important? Because one of the main reasons parents get their kids smartphones is because they don’t want them to feel left out. The easiest way to avoid that is to convince other parents to delay getting their kids smartphones, too. I also recommend watching and sharing this short talk by Seán Killingsworth, founder of the Reconnect Movement. He makes the point that instead of worrying about what our kids will miss out on if we don’t give them smartphones, we should worry about what they will miss out on if we do—which is to say, the ability to have friendships and experiences in real life. This is an important point that’s often missing from the discussion about if/when to get kids phones.

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Remember: millions of parents are theoretically on board with the idea of delaying kids’ access to smartphones till at least high school, and social media till they’re at least sixteen. But these new norms will only become a reality if we all take action together.

To scrolling less, living more, and holding the line,

Catherine Price

PS: Do you have any other tips or recommendations?

PPS: In case you missed it. . .

Check out my recent post about the benefits of getting a (cheap) land line for your family, and the joys of encouraging your kids to have real pen pals. Also, check out my podcast interview with Katherine Martinko about how to replace phone time with play time, as well as her own experiences raising her three kids in a low-tech home.

PPPS: Pre-order The Amazing Generation, my new book for tweens!

I’ve teamed up with Jonathan Haidt to write a new book specifically for tweens and young teens called The Amazing Generation: Your Guide to Fun and Freedom in a Screen-Filled World. Inspired by Jon’s mega-bestseller, The Anxious Generation, it’s designed to empower young people to stand up for themselves by choosing a life not dominated by screens. It comes out December 30, but you can pre-order your copy now!