If you’ve followed my work for a while, you’ve probably heard me mention Dr. Jean Twenge.
I first came across Jean’s work in 2017, when she published a now-famous (and at the time, very controversial) Atlantic article with the headline: “Have Smartphones Destroyed a Generation?”
I remember reading it while I was working on How to Break Up With Your Phone and thinking, YES. It pulled together something many people were feeling but that wasn’t yet part of the mainstream conversation: something was going very wrong with kids’ mental health, and the timing seemed suspiciously aligned with the rise of smartphones and social media.
That article was adapted from her book iGen, which I still have on my bookshelf. Since its publication, Jean has continued to be one of the world’s leading experts on the intersection of technology, teens, and mental health.
She also does not shy away from giving practical advice. And so when I heard she had a new book out — 10 Rules for Raising Kids in a High-Tech World — I knew I wanted to have her on the How to Feel Alive podcast.
The book isn’t just about what not to do; it also provides concrete guidance for how to protect your kids online and give them more opportunities for real-life fun.
Why am I sharing this conversation now, in the midst of the pre-holiday rush (let alone on a Sunday)? Well, first, because I’m excited about it and wanted to get it to you as soon as possible. But also: I know that many listeners are being pestered by their own children to get them tech for the holidays (think smartphones, tablets, gaming consoles, Roblox gift certificates, AI toys, etc) and . . . I am hoping to convince you not to! (PA Unplugged put together a great screen-free gift guide, which you can check out here.)
I encourage you to listen to the conversation this week — perhaps while doing some holiday prep — and then spread the word to other families in your community—and encourage them to get their kids screen-free holiday gifts, too.
After all, the best gift we can give our kids isn’t a smartphone; it’s the gift of having an actual childhood.
To scrolling less, living more, and spreading real life joy, skills, and fun—
Want to hear more from Jean Twenge?
Subscribe to her own Substack newsletter, Generation Tech:
Jean Twenge’s 10 Rules for Raising Kids in a High Tech World
Note: This list is just a tease; it is not meant as a substitute for buying and reading the book!
Rule #1: You’re in charge
Rule #2: No electronic devices in the bedroom overnight
Rule #3: No social media until age 16—or later
Rule #4: First phones should be basic phones
Rule #5: Give the first smartphone with the driver’s license
Rule #6: Use parental controls
Rule #7: Create no-phone zones
Rule #8: Give your kids real-world freedom
Rule #9: Beware the laptop—and the gaming console, and the tablet, and . . .
Rule #10: Advocate for no phones during the school day.
And don’t forget!
The Amazing Generation, my new book for kids (coauthored with The Anxious Generation author Jonathan Haidt) comes out December 30th. I just received my own copy and it looks great (a huge shoutout to Cynthia Yuan Cheng for creating art that brings the book to life). I truly can’t wait for you all to check it out!
In the meantime, you can learn more and preorder it (and get a free preview) at AmazingGeneration.com. Regardless of whether you have kids of your own, I would love your help spreading the word within your own communities, so that we can get the book and its message to as many kids as possible. As the mother of a 10-year-old, that’d certainly be the best holiday gift you could give me!
